Pep Talk

CD 9, Day 7 of Stims

Today I'm feeling increasingly sore.  Many IVFers describe this as "bloated" which I suppose is a way to describe it.  My ovaries feel bloated, but not my stomach so much.  It is more just twinges of soreness to me.

After yesterday, I need a bit of a pep talk.  By lack of others to do this for me, here I go.

After 2 1/2 years of trying to conceive, I'm finally, really participating in in-vitro fertilization! While we have no insurance coverage for this, we have been able to secure the funding without problem and won't be in debt over this due to the help we've received.

In just a few days my eggs will be retrieved and combined with S's sperm, and for the first time in all of this waiting, I will know for certain that fertilization occurred!  Our plan is to do ICSI with at least half of the eggs which really does mean fertilization should happen.  These will then be replaced in my uterus to snuggle in and grow healthy and strong, aided by large doses of progesterone injections.  And from a person who has a hard time slowing down, I have checked out three library books and a season of M*A*S*H to help convince me to take it easy.

I have many positives going for me -- I am young (26), healthy, have had a successful previous delivery, and don't have any of the major issues I have been tested for -- currently I have "unexplained infertility."

On top of this, my religious convictions give me an added bonus.  I believe that we can receive personal revelation from a loving Father in Heaven, and in this case I know that I am doing the right thing.  I don't know what the result will be, but feel positive that He has led me to this point because this is how He can help me, and perhaps there may be a miracle wrought in me.

Disappointment comes in so many situations and while we can't control the disappointment, we can control our reaction to it.  I want to choose to not let this affect me too much, and still look forward with optimism --  this really can happen!  Having fewer follicles doesn't decrease the chance of the embryos replaced from implanting.  I'm looking forward to another appointment tomorrow to see how the follicles are growing and find out the next steps.  It's possible tomorrow or Thursday could be my last day of stims which can only mean ER is getting very, very close.  Yipee!